I got stuck on a curb.. ..had to call a tow truck.. ..burn out a clutch and did some minor body damage.. ..$8,000 later, ugh.

You consume a Half-Full Can of Dr. Pepper to restore 4 Hit Points.

You scratch Crotch of Disuse.

You equip Jeans of Girth.

You equip T-shirt of Yesterday +1.

You consume a Banana to restore 3 Hit Points.

You consume a Twinkie of Staleness to restore 3 Hit Points.

You consume a Camel Light to restore 4 Hit Points.

You open the Apartment Door.

You encounter a College Co-Ed on the stairs.

You cast Nervous Smile. Spell fails!

You cast Mumble. Spell succeeds!

College Co-Ed casts Avoid Eye Contact for +3 Defense.

College Co-Ed casts Haste.

College Co-Ed successfully Flees.

You are leaving University Arms Apartments.

You have arrived at the Bus Stop.

You encounter Passing Teenagers.

You are attacked by Passing Teenagers!

Passing Teenagers cast Jeer for 13 Hit Points!

Passing Teenagers cast Jeer for 10 Hit Points!

You cannot Flee here.

You cast Ignore. Spell succeeds!

You consume a Chunky to restore 8 Hit Points.

You enter the Charleston Avenue Bus of Teleport.

You encounter an Impatient Bus Driver.

You are attacked by Impatient Bus Driver!

Impatient Bus Driver casts Fiery Demand for Exact Change for 12 Hit Points!

Impatient Bus Driver casts Frost Gaze for 7 Hit Points!

You cannot barter with a Milky Way.

You cannot barter with a Milky Way.

Impatient Bus Driver retreats.

You take the Bus of Teleport to Kinko’s.

You have arrived at Kinko’s.

You encounter Band of Snickering Co-Workers.

You cast Thin Pretense of Glum Superiority. Spell fails!

You cannot Flee here.

You cast Ignore. Spell succeeds!

You encounter Store Manager Carl Drecker.

You are attacked by Store Manager Carl Drecker!

Store Manager Carl Drecker attacks with Tardiness Complaint of Withering for 9 Hit Points!

Store Manager Carl Drecker attacks with Second Warning of Inappropriate Workplace Behavior for 14 Hit Points!

You cast Shopworn Excuse of Late Bus. Spell fails!

You cannot Flee here.

You equip Pleading Look of Desperation +3.

Store Manager Carl Drecker retreats.

You equip Blue Apron of Morale -10.

You equip Clip-On Tie of Morale -15.

You encounter an Angry Yuppie.

You are attacked by Angry Yuppie!

Angry Yuppie attacks with Uncollated Business Reports for 15 Points!

Angry Yuppie attacks with Accusation of Wrong Page Order for 11 Hit Points!

Angry Yuppie attacks with Demand for Refund but misses!

You cannot Flee here.

You cast Fumbling Excuse. Spell succeeds!

Angry Yuppie retreats.

You are leaving Kinko’s.

You have arrived in the Employee Lounge.

You consume a Can of Dr. Pepper to restore 5 Hit Points.

You consume a Cookie of Otis Spunkmeyer of Chocolate +4 to restore 8 Hit Points.

You have arrived at Kinko’s.

You encounter Store Manager Carl Drecker and Angry Yuppie.

You are attacked by Store Manager Carl Drecker!

Store Manager Carl Drecker casts Stern Warning for 4 Hit Points!

Store Manager Carl Drecker casts Grave Concerns for 11 Hit Points!

You are attacked by Angry Yuppie!

Angry Yuppie casts Howling Threat to Take Business Elsewhere of Seriousness for 5 Hit Points!

Store Manager Carl Drecker lands a Critical Hit with Withering Gaze of Disappointment for 32 Hit Points!

Store Manager Carl Drecker retreats.

Angry Yuppie retreats.

You are leaving Kinko’s.

You have entered the Parking Lot.

You consume a Camel Light to restore 7 Hit Points.

You cannot Flee here.

You cannot Flee here.

You cannot Flee here.

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1) See the results of the keyword-dense post and resulting traffic on this little-known blog.

2) Provide the data for anyone that’s interested and/or doesn’t have a subscription to Wordtracker.

Click on the “More” to view the keyword data, results forthcoming..

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I like reindeer.

That is all. Thank you.

2. How long you rest should be inversely related to the intensity of your last set.

3. You should use more free weights and compound (multi-joint) exercises than machine-based and isolation exercises. Free weights build more muscle, burn more calories, and allow more carryover into real world activities. That way, you’ll be able to lift bags of fertilizer, open peanut butter jars, and hoist naked women over your shoulder.

4. Don’t take your multivitamin/mineral capsule with your morning oatmeal.

5. If hypertrophy is your goal, eliminating the stretch-shortening cycle will do more to recruit additional muscle fibers than almost anything else you can do.

6. It’s impossible for two straight men to look each other in the eyes while whistling the theme song to The Andy Griffith Show.

7. Before doing a set for biceps, triceps, chest, or back, stretch the antagonist muscle beforehand. It’ll increase your performance on that next set.

8. Olympic lifts will, if added to a bodybuilder’s routine, ultimately build muscle by recruiting high-threshold muscle fibers.

9. Paris Hilton has a boney ass, and I wouldn’t have sex with her using your dick, let alone mine.

10. As your training age increases, you can get away with fewer reps per set.

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