Ahhhh, casinos.
We visited the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino last night with our friends Landon & Channerz in oh-so-metropolitan Tulsa, Oklahoma. Crys and I had decided to cut out alcohol for a bit in an attempt to lean out. {think: i’m fattening up} Sadly, when faced with the daunting task of coming up with a plan for Saturday night entertainment in Tulsa without alcohol, our options (and ideas) were fairly scarce.
- Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Tulsa, Oklahoma
It went something like this..
Bowling. Arcade. Dave’n Busters. Bar.. ..errr.. uhm.. Strip Club. ..Bar.. ..errrrr.. Casino?
Casino it was, and we bolted off toward the Hard Rock.
After making a dramatic e-brake entrance in our little Ford Fusion rental (thanks Avis!), and scaring the hell out of valet, we made our way inside. In retrospect, I’m not sure what else we (and by we, I mean I) had in mind when coming to a casino aside from gambling. That being said, I genuinely had no intent to gamble before walking through the doors.
Not 30 seconds after walking in, we made a b-line for the craps tables. Not 10 minutes later, I was down $800. As much as I’d like to believe something to the contrary, apparently craps is not my game.
The girls were aghast. $800 could mean: shoes, nails, makeup, clothes, alcohol, fun, a quadrillion things aside from 10 minutes at a craps table.
Wee bit of a gambling problem?
Fair enough. I submit to the idea that continuing to play craps probably isn’t the best idea and we retreat to the bar.
Wait, whaaat? Isn’t that what we were trying to avoid the whole time? Bloody hell.
I soaked up the warmth of defeat and bellied up to the bar. Landon and Channerz were already one ‘Vodka Redbull’ in as the bartender shouted to ask what we wanted.
“Ehhh, I’ll take a sugar-free Redbull?”, I mumbled, more question than affirmation.
Alcohol avoidance successful. Now what?
$800 down, Redbull in hand, literally engulfed by two of my vices, I thought,
“What the hell else do you do in a casino if not drink or gamble?”
We huddle, briefly talk amongst ourselves, and decide that the least toxic think we could do would be to head over to the $5 blackjack tables. 10 minutes later, we’re another $150 down.
Meh. Minor defeat. The bar is out, craps was ‘the suck’, blackjack wasn’t a good idea. So, logically, we scampered off to try our hand at poker. The casino started a table just for us {think: mental masturbation} and we all bought-in for $100. About an hours worth of fun — and another sugar-free Redbull later — we retreated from the poker room with $420 bucks in hand.
Time to jet, right? Nahhhh.
I have an idea. How about we take the last cash we have left and put it all on the line in roulette! Crys seems incredibly confident it’s going to hit red, we can’t lose, can we?
30 seconds later, we discover she was a bit off in her prediction. Black 26.
Well, fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Broken, broke, and defeated, we run away. I tip the valet my last $20 and we say c’est la vie to the night.
BALANCE: $3,984.37
LOCATION: Tulsa, Oklahoma
